angry… why am i so

I was in my photo history class the other day & I actually made a full circle point backed up with examples & words that made sense (usually in class I just kind of trail off sometimes, distracted by the light coming in through the blinds or something)- it was pretty major.

Then this dipshit (cute dipshit I might add, who sadly chooses of his own free will to go by the name barney, instead of his real first name…why? I have no clue) says something stupid, disagreeing,  just… sort of something that naturally would illicit a: what? really? you actually just said that? whatever… i’m going to try to pretend you didn’t say that b/c you’re pretty…

but no, that day, I was instantly thinking: fuck you, I’ll bite your finger off you idiot, your argument is ungrounded, unsupported, unreasoned, I’ll fight you to the ground, let’s go…!

& then i realized: whoa.

-i respect your right to have your own opinion, (even if it is wrong wrong wrong)

-plus i’m tired & sitting directly beneath the path of the air conditioning vent & must reserve all energy to stay warm

-& I was a little: holy fuck, I’m angry… what am I so angry about?

it was an interesting class, cold, but interesting in the personal introspection sort of way (nothing else was really going on… other than my trying to teach myself to be ambidextrous, people texting other people, & some poor, very very gay man trying to engage us at the front of the miniature auditorium)

so Thursday, what are you angry about?

maybe it’s more like, what I am not angry about…

 

 

& for your listening pleasure, since it just popped into my head again & it is amazing: lonely holiday by old 97s… go enjoy, i’ll work on being less angry, i swear

(already rhett miller’s doing a pretty good job with helping…)

 

~ by Thursday Afternoon Girl on June 22, 2008.