Why I am always sick…
I believe that my immune system was stolen from me as a child, probably some gangly under-the-bed-monster came out from under the bed one night & ripped it right out of my throat & did a little dance & said something along the lines of: “ahhhhhhahahahahahaha! i have your immune system now & shall live forever while you suffer the miseries of sickness!”
(oh, & when i say monster, no i do not mean the AIDS, thankfully.) I mean in, ‘reality,’ I had a twin captain’s top bed, which looked something, but only in the vaguest sense of the idea of how this bed is constructed, like this, but kind of in the style, material, and craftsmanship of this one, sans the headboard…. AND, a monster couldn’t really hid underneath it, but that just gets into all sorts of complicated…
& now I am nostalgic for my childhood bed and wondering why i ever demanded to get rid of it, -probably just working out some fucking angsty-ness and trying to assert myself as a person as opposed to a child in my house… or something
when really it is probably the accumulation of all my illnesses that have knocked my immune system down, instead of building it up to be stronger… or something… I’m thinking this, maybe.
Anyway! i get sick
i get sick easily (& obviously I also ramble like crazy!)
i’ve had:
The Measles (hurrah! my vaccine failed! & this was after my second vaccine dose too! I have yet to contract the Mumps or Rubella- fingers crossed it happens while overseas in a third world country- but I do vaguely remember being told that I wouldn’t catch the other two if I had caught the Measles, don’t ask me how this logic works, I’m just going to cling it although it may be entirely inaccurate! Hurrah again!) (Apparently, “Measles is the most deadly of all childhood rash/fever illnesses” & this is probably why my parents were so fucking freaked out/concerned at the time. Also, it’s not common in the USA anymore, so it was a HUGE fucking deal that I got it, and I was paraded through a lot of health board/health inspection and doctors and a bunch of crap that I didn’t want to deal with as a sick child because it was so deadly/uncommon)
The Chickenpox (Not to be confused Smallpox! (which I have not had the pleasure of encountering…. yet.) What I don’t remember is which came first, the measles or the chickenpox. But I did have them TWICE- yes i know what some of you are thinking, but Thursday! That’s impossible, everybody knows you can only ever have the chickenpox once! you silly, wrong thing! & what I am going to tell you is NO, you are the one who is misinformed, my first case of chickenpox was really mild, thus I did not acquire an immunity to it, the second time was worse…& if it really wasn’t chickenpox the first time then it was some virus that mimicked the symptom of chickenpox & it was the doctor’s fault for misdiagnosing it ["The doctors who diagnosed either the first or second infections may have mistaken another similar condition for chickenpox, "or, maybe, a small proportion of people can, in fact, have a second infection," study author Dr. Jane Seward of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.] but I’m standing firm on the chickenpox twice thing for now.)
Mono (yes this would be the ‘frat party I went to in high school incident, drank too much hit my head, don’t know who did it to me sickness…’ I distinctly remember coming back to school after being out for a month, and having one girl, in a snotty tone, be all, ”you had mono… aren’t you supposed to lose ALOT of weight when you have that?” -well yes Krista, normally so, but not if you have parents hovering over you, realizing that their daughter ,they so frequently, normally ignore, is dreadfully ill and insist upon you eating, and all you can eat (the only thing that doesn’t make you feel ill-er) is peppermint ice cream & hot fudge while you feel like shit and basically don’t have the energy to move for a month… then you don’t, then you gain weight, thanks for bringing it up on my first day back… it was also super how I had a bunch of people thinking i’d been in rehab for the month i was gone…. because that’s what i told them…)
& i could go on (TMJ, Appendicitis, eye surgery as a baby, asthma, bronchitis, what appears to be becoming chronic sinus infections, fevers… blah, blah, blah, blah… basically a super high propensity to contract any illness in the air/nearby…)
Which reminds me, i’ve never had Scarlet Fever… but I’m still really pissed off about The Velveteen Rabbit (Here, Here, or Here)- burn the fucking soft velvet rabbit that the child finally learns to love and appreciate, please, go on, do it. (ok, ok, so i know the rabbit actually escapes & becomes a real rabbit in the enchanted forest of sparkling fairy fru-frah, but still, he gets abandoned by the boy (or the boy is forced to abandon him- whatever) and is threatened with burning- that’s still fucked up & it’s sad how he just gets left in the toy cupboard & made fun of by the other toys…)
but this is probably my fault for being brought up as an American child in the 80s where all children’s books were sunshine and happiness and happy endings… even though one would say this story has a ‘happy ending’- i was still disturbed by it
… but maybe i’m just bitter because I was forced to go see a play of The Velveteen Rabbit as a child and it was probably really fucking traumatic and I was most likely worried about catching Scarlet Fever (seeing as how i was/am a magnet for illness) and dying… or burning my toys… either way, highly fucking traumatic. (Oh & Little Women!!! Thanks! Thanks for fucking killing off Beth with Scarlet Fever, right on, high fucking five!)
… “There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be; his coat was spotted brown and white, he had real thread whiskers, and his ears were lined with pink sateen.”
mmmm… soft things shouldn’t die…
but what was my point…?
-I get sick frequently…. or I get sick frequently and don’t update my blog.
yes. sorry.
& you know, (still going on about this,) maybe i’m wrong because I just watched this…
no. i still think it’s fucking melancholy & children are shite (you know for abandoning their velveteen bunnies)
plus this guy is the one who is really wrong
My last point is: I had my nose cauterized today, it was SUPER FUN! It was a longtime coming considering I’ve been a regular sufferer of nose bleeds since i was about six continuing on to the last one I had, last friday morning. & that is all i have to say about that (other than it totally freaked me out when them had me put on this white plastic apron, you know incase my nose started gushing blood during the procedure… & when they put that tiny (but really NOT THAT TINY) camera thing up my nose, and then when I almost passed out during the procedure… that was funtimes too) (oh & now my teeth hurt & all these nerves are alight in my head & there is this constant low pain, yeah in the teeth that just suffered severely during my insane sinus infection… so much fun to be had over spring break when you stay in chicago & the weather is still in the 30s!)
& end rant.
