Why I am always sick…

•March 24, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I believe that my immune system was stolen from me as a child, probably some gangly under-the-bed-monster came out from under the bed one night & ripped it right out of my throat & did a little dance & said something along the lines of: “ahhhhhhahahahahahaha! i have your immune system now & shall live forever while you suffer the miseries of sickness!”

(oh, & when i say monster, no i do not mean the AIDS, thankfully.) I mean in, ‘reality,’ I had a twin captain’s top bed, which looked something, but only in the vaguest sense of the idea of how this bed is constructed, like this, but kind of in the style, material, and craftsmanship of this one, sans the headboard…. AND, a monster couldn’t really hid underneath it, but that just gets into all sorts of complicated…

& now I am nostalgic for my childhood bed and wondering why i ever demanded to get rid of it, -probably just working out some fucking angsty-ness and trying to assert myself as a person as opposed to a child in my house… or something

when really it is probably the accumulation of all my illnesses that have knocked my immune system down, instead of building it up to be stronger… or something… I’m thinking this, maybe.

Anyway! i get sick 

i get sick easily (& obviously I also ramble like crazy!)

i’ve had:

The Measles (hurrah! my vaccine failed!  & this was after my second vaccine dose too! I have yet to contract the Mumps or Rubella– fingers crossed it happens while overseas in a third world country- but I do vaguely remember being told that I wouldn’t catch the other two if I had caught the Measles, don’t ask me how this logic works, I’m just going to cling it although it may be entirely inaccurate! Hurrah again!) (Apparently, “Measles is the most deadly of all childhood rash/fever illnesses” & this is probably why my parents were so fucking freaked out/concerned at the time. Also, it’s not common in the USA anymore, so it was a HUGE fucking deal that I got it, and I was paraded through a lot of health board/health inspection and doctors and a bunch of crap that I didn’t want to deal with as a sick child because it was so deadly/uncommon)

The Chickenpox (Not to be confused Smallpox! (which I have not had the pleasure of encountering…. yet.) What I don’t remember is which came first, the measles or the chickenpox. But I did have them TWICE- yes i know what some of you are thinking, but Thursday! That’s impossible, everybody knows you can only ever have the chickenpox once! you silly, wrong thing!  & what I am going to tell you is NO, you are the one who is misinformed, my first case of chickenpox was really mild, thus I did not acquire an immunity to it, the second time was worse…& if it really wasn’t chickenpox the first time then it was some virus that mimicked the symptom of chickenpox & it was the doctor’s fault for misdiagnosing it [“The doctors who diagnosed either the first or second infections may have mistaken another similar condition for chickenpox, “or, maybe, a small proportion of people can, in fact, have a second infection,” study author Dr. Jane Seward of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.] but I’m standing firm on the chickenpox twice thing for now.)

Mono (yes this would be the ‘frat party I went to in high school incident, drank too much hit my head, don’t know who did it to me sickness…’  I distinctly remember coming back to school after being out for a month, and having one girl, in a snotty tone, be all, “you had mono… aren’t you supposed to lose ALOT of weight when you have that?” -well yes Krista, normally so, but not if you have parents hovering over you, realizing that their daughter ,they so frequently, normally ignore, is dreadfully ill and insist upon you eating, and all you can eat (the only thing that doesn’t make you feel ill-er) is peppermint ice cream & hot fudge while you feel like shit and basically don’t have the energy to move for a month… then you don’t, then you gain weight, thanks for bringing it up on my first day back… it was also super how I had a bunch of people thinking i’d been in rehab for the month i was gone…. because that’s what i told them…)

& i could go on (TMJ, Appendicitis, eye surgery as a baby, asthma, bronchitis, what appears to be becoming chronic sinus infections, fevers… blah, blah, blah, blah… basically a super high propensity to contract any illness in the air/nearby…)

 

Which reminds me, i’ve never had Scarlet Fever… but I’m still really pissed off about The Velveteen Rabbit (Here, Here, or Here)- burn the fucking soft velvet rabbit that the child finally learns to love and appreciate, please, go on, do it. (ok, ok, so i know the rabbit actually escapes & becomes a real rabbit in the enchanted forest of sparkling fairy fru-frah, but still, he gets abandoned by the boy (or the boy is forced to abandon him- whatever) and is threatened with burning- that’s still fucked up    & it’s sad how he just gets left in the toy cupboard & made fun of by the other toys…)

but this is probably my fault for being brought up as an American child in the 80s where all children’s books were sunshine and happiness and happy endings… even though one would say this story has a ‘happy ending’- i was still disturbed by it

… but maybe i’m just bitter because I was forced to go see a play of The Velveteen Rabbit as a child and it was probably really fucking traumatic and I was most likely worried about catching Scarlet Fever (seeing as how i was/am a magnet for illness) and dying… or burning my toys… either way, highly fucking traumatic. (Oh & Little Women!!! Thanks! Thanks for fucking killing off Beth with Scarlet Fever, right on, high fucking five!)

… “There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be; his coat was spotted brown and white, he had real thread whiskers, and his ears were lined with pink sateen.”

mmmm… soft things shouldn’t die…

 

but what was my point…?

-I get sick frequently…. or I get sick frequently and don’t update my blog.

yes. sorry.

 

& you know, (still going on about this,) maybe i’m wrong because I just watched this…

no. i still think it’s fucking melancholy & children are shite (you know for abandoning their velveteen bunnies)

plus this guy is the one who is really wrong

 

My last point is: I had my nose cauterized today, it was SUPER FUN! It was a longtime coming considering I’ve been a regular sufferer of nose bleeds since i was about six continuing on to the last one I had, last friday morning. & that is all i have to say about that (other than it totally freaked me out when them had me put on this white plastic apron, you know incase my nose started gushing blood during the procedure… & when they put that tiny (but really NOT THAT TINY) camera thing up my nose, and then when I almost passed out during the procedure… that was funtimes too) (oh & now my teeth hurt & all these nerves are alight in my head & there is this constant low pain, yeah in the teeth that just suffered severely during my insane sinus infection… so much fun to be had over spring break when you stay in chicago & the weather is still in the 30s!)

& end rant.

with the f.y.i. vault coming lose at the seams

•March 24, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Mish-Fuckin-Mash post

Howdy.

I have finally passed through 6 horrendous weeks of sinus infection & feeling like death & am starting to pep up again

-So much has been happening & shaking & occurring; there are so many things that i’ve been wanting to post for various people’s delight & my own personal self-indulgence- aka, the whole act of blogging:

many (ok, most) of which i can’t even think of right now! (hurrah memory!)

but i do have an important PSA, illustrated by this beautifully crafted youtube video my bf brought to my attention,

GO READ A FUCKING BOOK…

enjoy.

 

ps- sometimes Thursday is emo & hipster & hardcore & messed up & pretty…. & has decided that she does not choose to be pigeon holed & is therefore not emo & not hipster & not hardcore & not messed up & not… well, she is pretty pretty, but she’s not nothing, not everything… she does highly enjoy speaking in the third person though… hmmm thoughts to be finished/continued later: UP COMING Story: THURSDAY & HER EXISTENTIAL CRISES!!! whoo! not my self, self? no?

& a post on the origins of the Hipster & why they’re so fucking annoying now.

-peace be with you,

thursday

pps- yeah, brush your teeth

Ladies & Gentlemen, I have found My Dream Wedding Cake!

•February 14, 2009 • 2 Comments

Seriously, what could be better than this???

deer_heads

-not that i really believe in marriage or completely want to get married, or think i ever will, it’s just that i like cake… & pretty dress

i particularly like the tree stump it’s on, the camo pattern in the fondant, & the backdrop, which looks like it’s been jacked from a defunct elementary school portrait company.

& i’m not just looking at wedding cakes, since i’m sick, I was checking out Cake Wrecks & happened upon a post about this cake.

startling

ALSO- 2 girls i went to high school with, recently got married, this is frightening, but both of them were mormons, so i guess it’s not too startling, -them one them even mormoned up for her man.

She’s Hot She’s Freezing, She’s Hot She’s Freezing, There’s stuff dripping out of her nose!

•February 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

…& Thursday is sick-y.

I’ve been trying to fight off what is inevitably a sinus infection (I know bc i get roughly 6 of them a year- it TOTALLY ROCKS BEING ME! i know, i know, you’re jealous, what with the rampent run-ins with assholes & the losing things -all the time- & the astoudingly measly immune system! who wouldn’t want to be me!?!)

(-& i wouldn’t not want to be be me, bc in all seriousness, even if i do feel like shit right now, & it did snow again last night, after mid-week brush with 60 degree glouriness, this too shall pass… or something, and since it is Valentine’s day, even if i didn’t want to mention it because i hate valentine’s day and it’s over commericalization and rampent/unnecessary/wasteful consumerism/ i believe we should be able to remeber how special the people are around us everday or some random thursday afternoon in june or december, and not just one day in feburary… and i hate how it makes people feel like they have to be coupled/or bad if they aren’t with someone- damn programming society! -I have this awesome relationship right now & so even though i feel like shit & am bummed i can’t put on a pretty dress & go out to dinner or put on a pretty dress & a sexy apron & whip something magical up in the kitchen, i know my person doesn’t care about that & is happy  just being close by- dripping nose/insane head pain /slightly muddled thoughts or no. -end tanget)

so yep.

also i’m bummed i haven’t been posting more… i think this blog needs a re-vamp

i need some anti-botics before i can get on that though

And my mac has been in the store for the last 2 weeks & i just got it back last night

any ways, happy Anti/pro valentine’s day, or Saturday, as i like to think of it…

now get out there & touch someone… like not exactly physically necessarily, although i’m all for that, (just make sure that if their a stranger that they’re cool with it first…) but just do something nice, smile even

go tell your mom happy v-day

…which reminds me that i also like to call valentine’s day v-day, because i feel like it should really be vagaina appreciation day! but more on that another tme

BEST THING ABOUT MONDAY SO FAR!

•February 2, 2009 • Leave a Comment

It sucks having to get out of bed in the morning, but waking up to being held is über nice… mmmm, boyfriend + spooning!

Being held makes it better… & worse because it’s harder to get up.

 

So… second best thing about MONDAY so far:

SO FUCKING TRASHY/MAGICAL/GREAT! FAce Paint & Bare Chests baby!

Thank you Empire of The Sun!

anyway… hope you’re having a good monday!

the (falsely) fuckin’ prodigal asshole returns & my ensuing RANT

•December 31, 2008 • 1 Comment

Ginger Pilsen:
he was nice in the sense that he payed for things (but that got tiresome… like when he went grocery shopping with me & wanted to pay for MY groceries (i refused)… although i didn’t mind when he insisted on carrying them)
it felt like i couldn’t have my own opinions & really be my own person with him
he was occasionally sweet & said hilariously astounding things every so often & he liked to make out in public (which i really appreciated… the making out in public was good, hot…intense)
BUT he didn’t vote! HE DIDN’T VOTE! (which is something i found out the morning after we slept together for the first time) (i know i mentioned this before but i think it garners repeating) & he got pissed that i got pissed (i was actually just really passionately enraged over the issue… you got to be able to keep up with my sex drive & current events of the world & try to give a shit about and participate in the environment in which you are living in)
he ruined my trip to the brookfield zoo, didn’t try to get to know my good friends & acted like a sullen fucking asshole child the whole time
he sucked… mucho
he was awful
he never called me after i chewed him out after we went to the zoo
(which was the weekend before thanksgiving & he didn’t reply to my thanksgiving text)

THEN! THEN! THE FUCKER has the AUDACITY to send me a text message the day before yesterday.
it only said: “hey”
all lower case.
no communication for a month. no i’m sorry i can’t do this. no i’m sorry i was an asshole. no you’re right we should maybe just be friends. no can we please talk.
all i get is a “hey”
(wanker!)
I was enraged! (I was shaking i was so upset)
i replied: ‘fuck you’
(which i think was appropriate)

he responded with: “i just wanted to apologize for not speaking. but i see your still the same sorry i even said hi”

that fuck head! if he wanted to apologize he should have said that first!
“hey. i’m sorry” would have been a better start
i would have probably said ‘thank you’ or made him say for what/why
but he didn’t! he made me so mad!
First the contacting me: i was having a good day. And then the part about how i was still the same! implying that he wanted me to change, that he was hoping i would miraculously have changed, likely that he was hoping i would change in order to be with him / if he kept silent long enough i would miss him & then change to be with him. (-conceited prick!)
& he used the incorrect form of your instead of you’re
-idiot

so i wrote back: “Jesus! you should really know the magnitude to which you are an asshole. I hope you never treat anyone the way you treated me.
But please say hi to sean for me” (sean = his friend who i always got along with)
& I followed it with
“please just leave me alone”

shitheaded, mothafucker, asshole, prat, twit, fuckwit, too tight pant wearing, tiny thighed jerk-face!

(& i’m leaving out A LOT of the shit he did, the small things just because i don’t want to get into it; i don’t want to think about it because i don’t want to think about him anymore!)
& deep breath…..

In other news I have thus far survived the holidays completely sober (I may or may not have a drink tonight at new years but it won’t be crazy like last year…)

& things are really going well with my boyfriend… did i mention that? Thanksgiving guy & I are doing that exclusive thing…. it’s kind of awesome! & from now on he shall be known as Illinois …because he’s more awesome or as great as all the great lakes & lake Michigan & immigrants & their delicious foods & chicago jazz & blues & aging mobsters & all the plains & cities & flat prairie lands & the revenue generated off of all the whiskey & cigarettes & corn & corn syrup &  hydrogenated oil, & nicer than all the snow & all the ice & nuclear power plants that reside, comprise, grow & fall within that state… plus that’s where he’s from originally.

so boyfriend shall be referred to as boyfriend or Illinois

it’s wonderful
he’s sweet and considerate and he likes me just the way i am… i know this because he said so (yes cliche/cheesy/whatever, but i’m going to hit you with some more: he makes me want to be a better, nicer person…)

& i think i’m making myself a little ill so i’m going to stop & wish you a pleasent & happy New Year!

where did she go…?

•December 17, 2008 • 1 Comment

where has Thursday been?

(oh yes…)

well, trying to find thursday has probably been like trying to find Where’s Waldo at red and white striped shirt and pom-pom hat convention… everything is on repeat & there is nothing new to see

[& i think i should refrain from making further similes in this post…]

It’s not that i haven’t had anything to say on here, i have, oh, have i got stories for you, – i just got boggedy down by finals for the 18 credits hours i was taking in combination with working 20 hours a week.

Finals are ove: they were brutal, but i managed to finish them all & now that i’ve sufficently caught up on sleep I will catch you up on stuff.

I’m not pregnant. did i ever establish that? well i’m not. it’s awesome. it’s also really old news. (BTW You HAVE TO CHECK OUT What To Expect When Aborting! i mean seriously this girl is so right, theren’t aren’t enough blogs or sites out there about abortion, i’m not saying pro-abortion, but just… what this girl is doing. I appreciated it & even if i didn’t agree with everything she said I found a lot of it insightful, funny as hell, and what i needed. you should start at the beginning here.)

… but this leads to newer news! After this (yes, slightly unnecessary freak out) I went to my new fabulous doctor & recieved what i would call a boutiful medical coricopia of after discussing my issues with being a recovering anorexic and being on depression meds and not wanting something that will fuck with my appetite/make me gain or lose weight, or mess with my hormones she/we decided to try the NuvaRing! (why does that get an exclamination point, i don’t know….. oh yes! exclamation for the not getting pregnant in th furture!)

& now i am going to digress into Why I Like The NuvaRing!

-i don’t have to remember to take a pill everyday!

&  i haven’t had any problems with it really (yes the whole ‘Vaginally inserted’ part was kind of weird, but i highly prefer that once a month, over a pill a day… i’ll update, because i know it’s always helpful to find different reactions to meds.

& now bringing you up to date on the men in & OUT of my life:

-the 19 yr: nothing ever occured again/he’s kind of a douche

-latin platonic dancing buddy: & i are just platonic again (…can you ever just go back to platonic?)

-Subway boy: went to Colorado & haven’t heard from him since

-Raw Honey: sadly haven’t seen since the week after the election

-Ginger Pilsen: was a mother-fucking-asshole supreme. we dated for a month and then the morning after i had sex with him i found out he didn’t vote. i got very pissed, he got pissed that i got pissed… saw each other once more (why i don’t really know) on a trip/double date to the brookefield zoo- he ruined my day & acted like a sullen fucking idiotic child & was an overall shit. I chewed him out for this. I wish i could have really chewed him out more in retrospect. I hope i never get to see him again, unless i can yell at him in public.

-now. i don’t know what to call the boy i’m with right now, i don’t know if i even really want to write about him, because ge doesn’t just feel like a social experiment, i seriously care for this one; deeply. I…

He was the boy who came over for Thanksgiving & didn’t leave for 3 days in what resulted in THE GREAT SPOON-A-THON OF ’08. it was amazing we stayed in my bed & spooned and cuddled & watched movies …& didn’t even kiss.

he’s pretty splendid & i know there are things between us that are huge points of divergence and places where we will have problems in the future, but i just have so much fun with him!

I swear i will stop gushing… here while i take a minute you can go watch a video of one of my fav songs of ’95.

yeah. he just came over. sigh.

i’ll write more later, esp on Thanksgiving & the insane cooking i undertook (there were four pies!)